This is horse $h!t. Literally though

So here we are, just getting our chill on at the beach after a hectic morning of monkey dodging. We're sitting in these amazing plastic chairs that're practically in the water, while this tiny thai lady is fixing us some grub. All of a sudden, this horse comes trotting along, stops, and directly obstructs our view of the sunset while he takes a giant shit. Just as suddenly as he appeared, he continues trotting along. We're left with shit. Literal horse shit right in front of our table. Next thing ya know, waves come in, shit starts floating closer TO. MY. FEET. Almost as if on cue, waves come. Some shit floats out, some shit comes in. Hmmm... now I'm thinking, "not only do I have shit by my feet, but that water I was just swimming in moments ago has shit floating in it. I don't know a lot about horses, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say they don't only shit once in their lifetimes so this ocean that I just put my face in has probably contained shit floaters once, twice, maybe even three times before. Oh, what's this?" The sight of the tiny thai lady's son interrupts my thoughts. "What's he doing? Oh. Oh. Oh my. He's using the ladle FROM THE KITCHEN to SCOOP THE POOP." My brain doesn't know what to do.

"Do I thank him for removing the shit from my feet? Or do I cry because I just realized what's actually floating in my tom yum soup?" 

Woof. There's not enough meditation in the world to make my mind ok with that situation, so we did the next best thing-- ordered a round and drank away our thoughts of the shit on our feet. Alcohol is sterile, right?