Kayaking through Chiang Mai

My friend Daniel (met him at Baan Kuhn Hostel 2) and I decided to try our hand at kayaking while in Chiang Mai. The course description said beginner so we figured we'd be fine. The bus picked us up at 8:30am to head to the safety demo/briefing. There was a mom and her five year old there--- if they could do it, we could do it! After the safety demo we took a songthaew about an hour out into rural Thailand and were dropped off at a small river. I asked the guide if there was a toilet to use; he pointed to the bushes. At least it was cleaner than a squatty potty! We began our kayaking journey and our poor guide was shaking his head left and right at us-- it's pretty easy to get stuck in the back currents before you get the strokes down so he was constantly having to pull people from our group out. After about 15 minutes I got the hang of it and did really well for myself from there on out-- I was even able to eddy out (stop myself purposefully). The river was deserted and the views of the mountains were absolutely beautiful! However after 5 hours, WE WERE STILL KAYAKING! beginner what??? To make things even better, our guide tied 2 kayaks to his because the paddlers were struggling and he was still paddling faster than me. We finally finished our journey in a mud bank. We had to get out of our kayaks and jump onto a platform to get to land. I made it. Daniel didn't. He was absolutely covered in mud and stuck, so the guide and another kayaker had to pull him out. #malariapillsexistforareason