Near the end of April, the buzz about Samet started. Teachers and friends alike were eagerly and excitedly discussing plans for the upcoming May 20th holiday. All I kept hearing was "buddy, you have to come to Samet with us!"
Fast forward a few weeks to May 15th. The Samet buzz is still going strong and I have yet to book an accomodation. Many of my co-workers booked at nicer, more expensive guest houses and hotels. My plan was to book a shared room in a hostel- why spend the extra money on a private room when I could sleep on the top bunk in a room full of strangers? That logic has served me well thus far during my travels, so why wouldn't it now? Well, for starters, there are only three hostels on Samet and they were fully booked months ago. Hmm.. what to do now that my go-to travel accomodation is shot? After scouring trip advisor for what felt like hours I found the cheapest guest house and booked a room with two double beds. Now all I had to do was find a roommate to split the cost with. Why not ask the new swimming teacher at school if he'd like to join? And so I did.
May 19th couldn't come soon enough. After school got out, we piled in a van to Ban Phe; from there we needed to hop on a speed boat to get to the island. The speed boat booking area was virutally empty but after having been on a van for four hours I needed to find a toilet. The thai staff directed me outside and around back. Were they joking? The bathrooms were gated off and all that remained along the back wall were urinals. I trudged back to the booking desk and asked again, this time in the girliest voice possible. Again, I was directed to the row of urinals. I tried to explain to the woman that I couldn't use the urinal. She shook her head and quickly ushered me to an outdoor shower stall; she beamed proudly thinking she had solved the problem. This was not going to work. I had almost entirely given up on finding a toilet and started weighing the pros and cons of using a urinal versus the shower stall when another woman came to my rescue. She walked me across the street to a gated lot. Two huge dogs ran to the gate and began barking and growling angrily. She held out her arm, beckoning me to open the gate. Was she joking? This woman wasn't a savior sent to rescue me but rather a harsh dose of reality screaming "Jaclyn, things can always be worse!". Shitting in a urinal now seemed wonderful, preferred actually, when compared to being bitten by rabid dogs. I looked from the woman, to the dogs, to the gate and back again. The woman, clearly exasperated by my inability to be satisfied, went first. I followed closely, and I mean closely, behind. She walked me to a small closet and pointed inside. I looked longingly at her, willing my eyes to portray the message "please wait for me- if you don't I'll be forced to hide in the toilet all night while the hungry dogs surround me and then I'll miss my boat to Samet and then my roommate won't be able to check in to our guesthouse and then he'll tell my co-workers and then they'll all wonder why they ever invited me in the first place". My eyes must've been pretty convincing because when I exited the toilet there she was, waiting to escort me back through rabid dog territory.
We made the speedboat and after 20 minutes of high speed wave smacking we arrived at the island. There was no docking area, so we jumped out of the boat into the ocean, carrying our backpacks above our heads while we waded to shore. We walked soggily to our guesthouse. After checking in (and being given only one key) we were put in a tuk-tuk to be shuttled to our room. Wait, what? Our room isn't at this house? We booked this room because of its proximity to our co-workers' hotels. Wait, what? Our room only has one bed? We booked this room because the two of us aren't into eight hour cuddle sessions. Welp. Talk about a great way to get to know your co-worker.
Since it was already 10pm, we quickly put our stuff down and headed to the beach. Many of the bars were shut, so we settled for a beachside pop up with elevated bamboo tables. Dipping my toes in the ocean while sipping on a margarita was heavenly.
20 May
Sleeping in, brunching at american cafes and lying on the beach are the things island days are made of. I took full advantage and enjoyed every minute of sun and sand. Friday evening we planned to go to Naga Bar for a fireshow that was allegedly the best on the island. We arrived at the bar around 5:30- the show didn't start until 8- and it was already packed. We got a table in the sand and ordered dinner and drinks while we waited. Once the sun set the fireshow began. There were 12 firemen (as they're called) and every single one of them was amazing. If you ever travel to Samet, make sure to see a Naga fireshow.
After the show, the firemen set up fire limbo and invite bystanders to play. The firemen's favorite trick is to carry girls under the flaming limbo stick when it is just inches above the sand. If being carried under a fiery, hot stick by a complete stranger isn't scary enough, add to it the crowd pleaser act of the fireman stopping directly under the stick and thrusting upward so that the inches between the girls' body and the fire have melted into mere centimeters. When in Thailand, right? I obviously had to give this game a try.
To end the day, I got to drive my very first motorbike, which I didn't even crash :) We celebrated with a late night swim in the ocean.
21 May
Another day of brunching, beaching and beers, followed by dinner on the beach. Tonight however, the plan was to go to a neon paint party. We decorated ourselves and then danced the night away at Naga, Silver Sands and Ploy. We finished the evening with some late night thai food at a local stall.
22 May
Our journey back to Bangkok was supposed to start by boat at noon. At 12:30 our boat arrived; trying to make up for lost time, the captain put the pedal to the medal and never looked back. He drove full speed the entire way, so the boat was constantly skipping up over the waves and then slamming back down, hitting the surface of the water, HARD. When the game of 'how many hungover passengers can I make vomit' finally stopped, we were asked to jump out of the boat and scale the side of the bamboo dock to get to shore. As if this weren't traumatic enough, once on land, we got in a van that was supposed to take us to Bangkok, however, after about an hour of local Ban Phe pick ups and drop offs, including a gas fill (gas fills are fun because thai law states that all passengers must exit the vehicle while the attendant is pumping) the driver informed us that he would be leaving us on the side of the road to wait for a different van. He couldn't tell us when the van would be coming or what it would look like. After our 20 minute excursion intermission we got picked up by yet another van. The million dollar question: would this van be taking us all of the way to Bangkok? The driver couldn't answer us that, however he did tell us that we would be stopping for a gas fill.
Let me get this straight, after riding a boat that caused me to be a human jack in the box, scaling some rickety bamboo siding, boarding the first van, exiting for a gas fill and then reboarding, then exiting to be left on the side of the road, and finally boarding a second van, we were being asked to exit and reboard yet again? And after all of this boarding and exiting, boarding and exiting, we were only about 30 miles closer to home than when we started our journey two and a half hours ago?
One more stop, a torrential downpour and seven hours later we were finally in Bangkok.
You got me Samet, you got me real good.
*There isn't an official english spelling for this island, so both Koh Samet and Koh Samed are used interchangeably, sometimes even on the same advertisement.
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