wettest weather ever

15 June 2016
Woohoo! School is winding down! Only 2 regular school days left! What better way to celebrate than with food and drinks at my co-worker's cozy condo? Sian and I got all dolled up and hopped on the BTS to get to Tuovi's. The train ride was less than 10 minutes; according to google maps, once we got off the train we had an estminated 8 minute walk. There was only one problem... when Sian and I got off the train the rain was coming down in buckets (damn you, rainy season!). We decided that getting a cab would be our best bet, so we made a run for it and hopped in with minimal wetness. We were protected from the elements so even though our taxi was traveling in the wrong direction, we didn't mind. Then, our taxi stalled. Our driver grabbed two plugs out of the center console, threw a seven bag over his head and ducked out into the wetness. He popped the hood and played around for a few minutes. Even though he got absolutely soaked, he managed to get the car running again. And.... we were off. In the wrong direction. Again. And.... we stalled. Again. Our taxi driver mumbled that we should probably find another ride and dropped us on the side of the road. in. the. pouring. rain. Now we were even further from Tuovi's than when we got off the train and we had no form of transportation. We contemplated opening Sian's bottle of wine right then and there. Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures. We decided against it and instead sloshed through the puddles and across the road to think under the overpass. There were tons of motorcy taxis waiting out the downpour so we started chatting them up. Maybe one of them would take us? Looking like wet dogs and speaking broken thai was apparently just the ticket because we got two drivers to agree to brave the rain and deliver us where we needed to go. They opened their motorcy seats and pulled out ponchos for themselves and for us- SCORE! Even though I looked like a human condom, the protection provided was minimal. The rain pelted my face; was it better to squeeze my eyes shut so the rain wouldn't burn my eyes or keep them open so that I could brace myself for the asshole drive-by's spraying us with puddle water? After 20 minutes of dealing with this dilema we reached our destination. Our host took one look at us and instead of offering us a towel, or a shower, or a change of dry clothes, poured us Finlandia vodka shots and toasted "kippis" with us. This Finnish woman knew exactly what we needed ;)

17 June 2016
Not only does the rain make getting to social gatherings a bit more difficult, but it makes getting home from work quite challenging. My school is located at the end of a soi on low, low ground. I came out of school to find that the entire front entrance was flooded. Water was halfway up my calves for as far as the eye could see-- were all of the snakes and rats that lurk around the school grounds now swimming around just waiting for an unsuspecting farang to wander by? I was not going to be that farang. Not today at least. I commissioned one of the guards to pull the van around and I hopped in, thankful to have been spared a snake bite or rat piss infection for at least one more rainy day.

99 things to do in Thailand...

13 June 2016
While trolling the internet the other day I came across a list of 99 things to do while in Thailand. Feeling fairly confident that I had done at least a quarter (or more!) of the activities, I clicked on the link. Damn, was I wrong. To date I've only done 15 of the 99... looks like I'll be staying in Thailand a bit longer than I thought ;)

Here's the link:
thailand's ultimate bucket list

Here's what I've done:
-Visited Khao Yai National Park
-Climbed Erawan Falls
-Paid my respects at Erawan Shrine
-Hiked through Hellfire Pass
-Spent an evening in sin on Soi Cowboy/Patpong
-Taken a Slow Travel Train
-Indulged in Street Food
-Eaten at the Terminal 21 Food Court
-Tried Mango Sticky Rice
-Taken a food tour of Chinatown
-Participated in a Thai Cooking Class
-Practiced my bargaining skills at Khlong Toei Market
-Saw the Sunday Night Market in Chiang Mai
-Got lost in the biggest market in Thailand, Chatuchak
-Got totally soaked during Songkran

blonde in bangkok

12 June 2016

I did it. I finally did it.

Got a bamboo tattoo?

Spoke enough tonally correct thai for a thai native to understand?

Climbed to the top of Ghost Tower?

No. No. And No.

I got my hair colored.

You may say this is no big deal, that in fact, this isn't even a blogworthy post, but to all you naysayers out there, I say, hear me out.

First and foremost, I'm blonde. I was born blonde and therefore have lived twenty something years of my life as such. I'm now living in Thailand. How many thais do you know that are blonde? Actually blonde? None. That's right. Me either.

Now, how many thais do you know that are fake blonde? None. That's right, you live in America. Well, here in Thailand, there are two ways to become fake blonde. One way is to use box color. After reviewing my options at the local supermarket I decided against the box for obvious reasons.

Option two is to go to a thai salon and ask for blonde coloring, at which point the hairdressers get all excited and giddy. They assure you they can do a blonde job, even though they never get to touch the stuff. 40 minutes later and you're walking out with a color strange enough to force Lady Gaga to do a double take. 

(I'll spare you the photos of my coworker's botched blonde)

So what is an actual blonde like me, supposed to do? Go to Pam Anderson Salon of course. I was obviously very skeptical when I heard about this, but a thai who's got enough wit to name her salon after a blonde bombshell in american popculture deserves a shot, right? Right. Pam Anderson is doing it right in more ways than one. Firstly, she offers patrons the equivalence of a couch to lie on while their heads are being shampooed and conditioned. Secondly, she offers a standard 30 minute head massage. And lastly, she offers it at an unbelievably affordable price. 

Let it be known that this blonde did not get botched in Bangkok!

Banyan Tree

9 June 2016
Banyan Tree is an incredibly beautiful hotel located in the Sathon district of Bangkok. It's known for its 60th floor rooftop lounge which offers patrons an absolutely breathtaking 360 degree view of the city. I had the pleasure of watching the sunset over Bangkok while enjoying posh drinks with my coworkers on Thursday evening. Although my wallet may not agree, my mind definitely thinks that every once in awhile, it's fun to live the high life!

Jaclyn's Week of Street Food

6-11th June 2016

6th June 2016
Bangkok is amazing. Living here affords me all the eccentricities of SE Asia, while still supplying me with the modern comforts and conveniences of the good ole USA. One thing I have not taken enough advantage of is the street food, thus "Jaclyn's Week of Street Food" was born. After doing some online research I set off on my first street food journey. I was headed to 392/20 Sukhumvit Rd to a stall called Guaythiew Pik Gai Sainampung for a soup noodle dish. I was quite proud of myself because I found the stall relatively easily. However, when I inquired about ordering the woman informed me she was closed. In fact, she closed every day at 3pm. Damn you google for not listing street food stall hours. Ok. No worries. There were two big stalls on my soi; I'd just take a sit and experience one of those this evening. I ran into a co-worker on my way and, feeling quite excited informed him of my plan. 
"Those won't be open" he said. 
"Why wouldn't they be?" I was pretty salty with him for so matter of factly shitting on my dinner plans. 
Clearly an avid streetfoodgoer, he replied with, "Monday is street cleaning day in Bangkok so the number of stalls that are open decreases by 50%." 
"Oh.... Shit."
Sure enough, there weren't any stalls open on my soi. Feeling defeated and hungry, I sulked home, tail between my legs, and made my self breakfast for dinner. 
"Surely tomorrow I will have street food" I told myself.

7th June 2016
Shoutout to my friend Carl who made street food happen for me tonight. He suggested we check out the Train Market at Ratchada. The market is great- it has tons of pop up food and beverage stalls, vendors and live music. We wandered around for maybe 20 minutes before I found a soup noodle dish I wanted to try (mostly because I could order it "mai pet" which means without spice) Immediately after ordering, it started to downpour. The rain was whipping and blowing, the lightning was flashing and the thunder was cracking. It was only a matter of minutes before the power went out. And here I was sitting at a folding table on a plastic stool in the middle of it all just trying to enjoy my noodle soup. Despite the elements, it was delicious. There were pork, eggs, veggies, sausages and noodles floating around in my bowl. To get all that for 60 baht, or $1.70 US, blows my mind. Because dinner was so cheap, we splurged on 1000mL (the equivalent of 6 cans) of Leo for 290 baht, or $8.24 US. This was definitely a win for Jaclyn's Week of Street Food.

8 June 2016
Tonight was an epic fail for street food week. Monday started off slow, but after Tuesday's success I thought I was destined for a turnaround. No such luck. I met up with a friend who'd been in the hospital. He requested Pizza Hut for dinner. Pizza Hut. Can you believe it? Instead of telling vendors "khun chob mai pet" (I like no spice) I was debating deals with the delivery guy and nom-ing on melty processed cheese and greasy crust. 

9 June 2016
I was determined to get back to my street food eating. One of the local hot spots for street food is the food court inside Terminal 21 mall. It combines street food prices with proper tables and AC (no getting rained on in here!) I ordered a pork noodle dish (in thai!) and a ma muang mai wan (mango, without sugar) shake. The noodle dish was emanating a smell so strange I was convinced even the thai people were staring at me. I sat down to have a taste and quickly realized that the only thing I would be enjoying would be the ma muang mai wan shake. No thank you terminal 21. Whatever that strange street food creation was, it certainly was not for me. 

10 June 2016
I was feeling a bit defeated after my street food snafu on Thursday evening. I wasn't going to be sustained on a shake alone, so when my girlfriend messaged me with this tempting offer, I couldn't resist. 
"Hey Jaclyn, I have this amazing bottle of red wine I've been wanting to open. I was thinking of pairing it with cheese, breads, meats and veggies. Wanna join?" 
Sorry street food. Tonight is a no go for you.

11 June 2016
What better way to end the week of street food than to go with an old trusty? Ratchada train market here I come! I ordered the exact same meal, from the exact same stall, from the exact same girl. The only difference? I brought three girlfriends to order with me. Everyone enjoyed their street food, including me. Win, Win, Win for Jaclyn's Week of Street Food :)

Hua Hin

3-5 June
What better way to spend the weekend than relaxing in Hua Hin with Tash? I hopped in a van Friday after school and got to Hua Hin about 9:30 at night. Tash greeted me with some awesome street food- sticky rice and "sawdust shaved pork" wrapped in banana leaf. It was finger lickin good. (hint, hint, Bangkok street food vendors.)

Tash and I got up Saturday morning and headed to the beach. Tash rents a motorbike (Hua Hin is much quieter than Bangkok) so she took me for a ride.

We stopped at an outdoor massage booth overlooking the ocean. It was hands down the best massage I've had yet in Thailand! It only cost me 300 baht, which included a bottle of water and pineapple. Talk about a relaxing start to the day! We then headed to the beach; we had it almost exclusively to ourselves as it's rainy season in Thailand so there are very few tourists. Even though we weren't staying at the local resort, the staff was happy to let us lounge in their chairs and snuggle up with their comfy towels. The tide was low but the sun was hot so we took a dip in the ocean. Tash and I were able to walk out for what felt like miles and miles with the water still at our waistlines. A few hours later, the tide came in and the rain started. The beach was flooded so we couldn't get back to Tash's moto without wading through water above our knees- there was no sand to see anywhere.

Once the rain stopped Tash and I decided to head to PlearnWan, a small section of streets in Hua Hin that is supposedly fashioned after "old Thailand". The popular thing to do here is take pictures in front of the PlearnWan sign, so Tash and I lined up with the locals for our very own thai photo shoot. While in PlearnWan, I tried mochi ice cream, which is ice cream inside a frozen doughy, chewy, ball. I enjoyed the ice cream, but could've done without the outer covering. 

After exploring the ins and outs of the old thai streets, we decided to head to the newer side of Hua Hin to experience a thai stuffed fish dish that is apparently out of this world. Walking 20 minutes in the wrong direction made the idea of this fish dinner even more appetizing :)  The fish came with lettuce leaves and steamed rice, so even though the stuffing was a bit spicy, I was able to make fish tacos that were really delicious!

After filling up on fish we decided to check out the local bar scene. We didn't have to walk very far, because right in our path was a light up cyclist with a cart of hard liquor for sale-- pass the Sang Som please! We chose to stop for a photo instead of a drink and continued on our journey toward a sports bar with import beers.

After indulging in a few good beers, we decided to hit up the open air, blaring music backpacker bars that line the main drag of Hua Hin. We settled for a quieter one, and hit the jackpot when we encountered a young thai bride to be with her older, farang fiance. She used his credit card to buy not one, not two, but three rounds of free drinks for the bar. Cheers to getting hitched tomorrow, sweetie! Tash and I sipped on mojitos and margaritas while chatting with the bar staff (who were not forgotten when it came to the free drinks from the farang) Once closing time came, the staff invited Tash and I to accompany them to a local thai bar. Tash and I walked in to find we were the only farang there. People were actually staring at us! There was even a thai band playing who was actually singing in thai (this is incredibly uncommon; in most bars, the local bands sing songs in english) But the point we knew we were really, truly in a thai establishment wasn't when we didn't see any farang, or hear the thai music- it was when we entered the bathroom. There weren't any western toilets, only squatties! It was really fun to experience the thai nightlife scene, squatties and all!

The best thing about Hua Hin though is the transport. In Bangkok, motorbike taxis would never dream of transporting two people. In Hua Hin, Tash and I were able to get a ride home together from a wonderful moto driver!

Duang Prateep Kids Day

28 May 2016
Luke, one of the strangers I met during my trekking weekend, turned out to be good for more than just a few crocodile photos and some fire twirling. He told me about the flying chicken restaurant (win!) and invited me to volunteer with his crew at a kids day in Bangkok. His crew, Karma Klique, hosted a boat party, complete with food, drinks, dancing and a dj. All of the proceeds from the party went to a low income thai school in the Khlongtoey slums. Karma Klique decided not just to donate the money, but to also throw a huge party for the kids. There were magicians, musicians, dancers, face painters and a balloon animal making clown. On the day of the event, 25 of us volunteered to run the stations and interact with the kids. I was able to meet some really awesome individuals (most of whom weren't teachers, but just wanted to do something nice for the kids!) I also got to make some friends who worked as translators because they spoke both thai and english (one even spoke german too!) Have I mentioned yet how embarrassed I am to be monolingual? I'm trying to learn, really I am. Anyway, the kids absolutely loved it! I got to play musical chairs and run relay races with them (we only managed to break 10 eggs with 100 kids-- not bad!) In between activities, the kids sipped on "green drink" which is the equivalent of a cup of simple syrup died green--- it was thick, pure liquid sugar; the kids loved it. I on the other hand could only manage a few sips before I could feel my teeth rotting out of my head :) But the craziest, most ridiculous, out of this world part, came when I met my game station partner--- he not only was from the states, he was from Chicago, we not only knew each other, he happened to date my cousin for five years. What're the odds in a city of 8.5 million people to run into someone like that? Maybe Bangkok isn't so big after all.

JUSMAGThai

27 May 2016
One of my co-workers, Mary, is from the states. A few years ago she found this great place called JUSMAGThai (Joint United States Military Advisory Group, Thailand). JUSMAG is an awesome find because they serve import beers as well as american fare for cheap, cheap prices. After buzzing through a secret door and two large gates I was able to enjoy Blue Moon (my fave!) for 100 baht a bottle! That's less than $3 US dollars, people!

 Reunited and it feels oh so good! However, the staff didn't know the slice of orange trick, so there were none on hand. Never fear though, the bar tender hooked me up with a splash of orange juice to satisfy my citrus-y craving!

P' June, YOU DA BOMB, GURLLL

26 May 2016

Happy Birthday Kru June! (that's happy birthday teacher June in thai) I've been taking thai lessons from June for a little over a month. I absolutely love thai lessons because my teacher doesn't just help me speak the language (and let's be real I need a lot of help with that-- did you know that there are 5 different tones so saying the word maa in rising as opposed to falling as opposed to flat changes the meaning from horse to dog to come?) but she also educates me on thai culture (the older generations of men believe that your head is the highest part of your body so it's held in the highest regard-- it's definitely not ok to touch up here) AND takes me to really awesome places in Bangkok (I especially love going to "the street" because it's the same in thai and in english!) Mangoes are currently in season so June suggested we try her favorite type of mango ice cream from Swensen's. The ice cream comes with green sticky rice and a strangely textured "sweet" bean on top (kind of like the cherry in America) with a side of milk (milk in thailand is incredibly sweet). First you're supposed to eat the bean, then pour the milk all over the top of the ice cream. Once you're ready, scoop the ice cream and rice out together-- this combo will tantalize your taste buds! 

June not only brought me to Swensen's, but she brought me to the grocery store and pointed out different kinds of fruits and vegetables, as well as suggested things I try (mango sheet was on the list- it's like really thin, flat, sweet, candied mango). I had to repay the favor, so I decided to take her for mexican for her birthday. June got to try nachos for the first time! She initially asked if we could get all of the toppings on the side, including the cheese, but the thai waitress told her it wouldn't taste any good that way so she jumped all in and went for it! She not only enjoyed the nachos, but liked her first margarita as well.

I love working with June because we both teach each other fun "slang" phrases. When I get asked if I have a boyfriend (this happens quite often because everyone in Thailand believes you should be married young!) I can now respond with 'suwaii luak dai' which means I'm selective ;)

When June is sarcastic, (which happens all of the time) she now knows that she's "giving me shit", and when June's awesome, (which happens all of the time) she now knows that she's "da bomb". 

Chucking Chickens

24 May 2016
When I went on my jungle trek, one of the guys, Luke, told me about a restaurant in Bangkok that catapults chickens through the air. They do what? He proceeded to tell me all about the restaurant. I was hooked. Now I just had to find someone to accompany me to this chicken chucking charade. Lucky for me, my friend Carl was incredibly enthused by the idea of aeroborne poultry, so we decided to give the place a go. This open air chicken chucking restaurant is called Kra Thon and it's located off the Udom Suk BTS. When we first arrived we were seated at a table right in front of the metal ramp that houses the catapult as well as the unicycles. We ordered an entire "chucked chicken" for 140b (that's the equivalent of $4USD). We watched as the gongs clanked, the chicken was lit on fire and placed in the catapult. From the other side of the ramp we saw the unicyclist begint to peddle. Before we knew it the flaming chicken was flying through the air. The cyclist picked up speed and caught the bird with ease. Then, the bird was delivered to our table. To make things even better, because we had ordered a "chucked chicken", we were invited onstage to take photos atop the unicycle while holding speared chickens and donning a chicken helmet. Could things get any better than this? Yes, they could. Each person who ordered a "chucked chicken" was also given a complimentary clucking rubber chicken to take home as a souvenir. This was one flying food phenomenon that was going to be hard to beat!