Shit I'm a bad traveler

9 Feb 2016: departure day
My friends and I decided to hit up Ao Nang beach in the morning. We took "the white bus" aka songthaew to get there. Of course, we only ride in Thai style, so there were 12 adults plus a baby and enough luggage to feed the entire thai army, squeezed in the equivalent of a pickup bed (and we're not talking F150 super dutys, we're talking Ranger style). After a half hour of bouncing along (speed bumps are a suggestion, not a way of life) we reached Ao Nang. I got a solid 2 hours of sun and sand before I had to make the return journey on the "white bus". I gave myself an hour to get back, which was more than generous, and I was mentally preparing myself for the excursion when my transport arrived. Fast forward one hour later and I'm at a bus terminal paying more than my agreed upon ride price to a Thai driver who is cursing at me. I think there was a miscommunication but who can be sure? Now I have to figure out how to get back to my hostel and get to the airport. Never fear, a moto is here! But does he know hogwarts hostel? Of course not. What a ridiculously western name. Not only did the moto man look at me like I had 5 heads (I thought thai people believed in magic?) when I told him the name, but when he and his band of drivers attempted to repeat the name Dumbledore rolled over in his grave. When thais speak they very rarely pronounce the endings of words, especially when the endings are difficult sound combinations like "ts". So "hogwarts" became "hogwar". Try enunciating "hogwarts" to a Thai man sometime and the ridiculousness you feel will only partially reflect my own-- I was the one who chose to stay there for JK Rowling's sake! Moral of the story: thai hostels have thai names for a reason. Stay in them. This was not the only realization I came to. I also realized that phones are just as good, if not better than magic wands, so I used mine and put the Hogwarts Virgin in touch with the Hogwarts proprietor and they made sweet, sweet thai talk, which resulted in a sweet sweet ride back to my hostel. Win for Gryffindor! At this point I'd missed my airport bus so I convinced my moto man, Hogwarts' newest non virgin, to wait while I grabbed my bag and then moto me to the airport. PS Mr. MotoMan, did I mention that this weekend I purchased a travelers backpack the size of an 8 year old child? Ooops. Fast forward 30 minutes later. My 8 year old and I have made it safely to the airport exactly 40 minutes before my flight. We're ready to check in at terminal 2. Wait, my 8 year old is too big? I have to travel alone? He has to be checked at terminal 1? WHATT?? run to terminal 1. Scan him. Try to check him. No dice. I didn't register a checked bag when I booked my flight. Well no of course not, I didn't have this manchild three weeks ago. Ok. New plan. Have to get the man child on the plane. Run back to terminal 2. Get through security. Arrive at my gate 10 mins before boarding time to find my flight has been delayed. Smoothies it is for me and the manchild!