Me Encanta Peten, No Amo La Cerveza Gallo

 July 10, 2022

Kristin and I had a slow start to our morning but we did make it downstairs for breakfast before the restaurant closed. We decided to have a relaxing day walking around the tiny island of Flores. When we happened upon a boat tour we decided to take it. Little did we know, after about 15 minutes of cruising, our guide would drop us on a remote part of the island and motion upward. Out of the boat we climbed and up through the brush we walked. And Walked. And Walked. Until we came to a small hut with rangers who asked us to put our names and information. Ummm... why? So they could track who did and did not make it down from the viewpoint? So much for a relaxing day. We climbed and climbed and climbed to make it up the mossy stone embankments and onto the landing that looked out over the water. While this was beautiful, the bathroom gods were not on my side today, so Kristin and I took a few pictures and then scrambled back down the mossy embankments. Surely there was a bathroom near the tiny hut where we had to sign our lives away. Bano? we asked. The men shook their heads no. Great. We walked and walked and walked back down to our boat and asked again, bano? Our guide called to someone who emerged out of the bushes and stuck out her hand for money. At this point I would've given her my life savings I had to go so badly so I quickly produced some coins and ran to the outhouse. Of course there was no toilet paper. And of course I had none in my purse. I quickly exited the outhouse but the woman was nowhere to be found. I went back to my guide who looked at me quizzically. I literally had to act out wiping myself with toilet paper. Again she called into the bushes and this woman emerged. Apparently I had only paid for the toilet, not the paper, so I begrudgingly produced more coins for which she smiled and handed me some paper. Again I ran to the outhouse and finally was able to go to the bathroom. So much for relaxing. 😂

After finishing our boat tour of the island we got out and walked to the Peten sign and took our fair share of touristy photos. 

We found a tasty looking open air spot for dinner and were able to watch the sun set over the water. Note to self- don't order pina coladas because 45 minutes later we had our food but still no drinks. Maybe our order was lost in translation and they thought we wanted our drinks for dessert? Because sure enough when we finished our dinner out came our drinks. 😀

We enjoyed our day exploring the island of Peten, aka Flores, but were ready for our next adventure- Guatemala City! We packed up and headed to bed early so that we were ready for our early morning flight.

Waking Up in Belize but Going to Bed in Guatemala

 July 9, 2022

We were getting picked up at 6:45 for Tikal but were smarter today and planned for earlier just in case. Of course, they were early. My breakfast consisted of leftover pie, a meat stick and a juice box--- thanks to the man across the street. We wished Cheryl and Jeff well, thanked them for their hospitality, and hopped in the van with our backpacks. We got to the border of Guatemala and Belize and crossed it without any hiccups (we'd heard horror stories of people waiting for hours to get across only to get denied-- however these stories were from our hosts who had never actually done it themselves so who really knows) As soon as we crossed we noticed a smiling face waving at us. She introduced herself as Mariela, our Tikal guide for the day. She was friendly and fun and ushered us to the van for a girls day out. We stopped at a gas station so we could all use the toilet before our two hour drive to Tikal. While chatting with the other girls in the car, there were 3 of them, we came to find out that today was Sonja's birthday. I immediately snuck out to tell Mariela (she was sitting in the car so I knocked on the window and it scared the SHIT out of her- sorry Mariela!) Mariela made a phone call and after we got in the car we took a quick detour, made a stop, and I watched as she snuck a cake in a cooler into the back. We finally made it to Tikal, got out of the car, walked in and waited for an open back truck to take us up to the top. The ruins were HUGE. The ruins were HOT. The ruins were SO WELL PRESERVED. Kristin and I climbed up, down and around. The sun was beating down and we could feel the layers of bug spray and sunscreen mixed with sweat start to slide off our bodies. Never fear- Mariela came to the rescue. She took us on a walk under the canopy cover and told us stories of the ancient Mayans as we searched for, and found, monkeys, toucans and lizards aplenty. We climbed many, many stairs to the final ruin, which provided a viewpoint that looked out over the treetops of the jungle. It was breathtaking. Mostly because it was beautiful but also because it was a trek to get there and also a little bit because the steps were steep with no barriers on either side and one could easily just topple off to their death. BUT we didn't. 

Did you know Wrigley's gum became famous because of these ^^ trees? They're gum trees!

After spending lots of time out in the sun we went to a café where we had a delicious lunch complete with birthday cake. Sonja was so surprised and super thankful that we made her birthday so special. We then parted ways with the three other girls in our tour- they were heading back to Belize and we were staying in Guatemala. Luckily for us Sonja's husband works in Guatemala so she drove us and we got to continue chatting with her. 

Our first stop in Guatemala was a tiny island called Flores. Mariela assured us that it's very safe to walk around at any time of day, including at night. This was the place we should check out the nightlife she said. We wished her well, checked into the first accommodation of our trip with AC- woohoo! and got ready to hit the town. We showered off the layers of ruin sweat and prettied ourselves up for a night out. 

Our first stop was Skybar- it was on a rooftop and had views of the city. It wasn't nearly as crowded as Mariela had said it would be but also it was early. We ordered some nachos to share and some BIG Gallo beers. Gallo is the local beer of Guatemala. Belizeans and Guatemalans argue over whether Gallo or Belikin (the local beer of Belize) is better. Spoiler alert- Kristin and I were never hungover on Belikin so my vote is for Belikin. But more about that later...

After splitting a few liters of Gallo we chatted up some locals at the table next to us. They were super friendly and offered to take us to this "disco" we had heard about. We got there and they paid our cover to get in. Once inside we wished we had been able to communicate with them better because the looks on their faces said it all. The club was hot. The club was packed. The club had sweat dripping from the walls and ceilings. The club had smokers INSIDE. The club had old men grabbing my butt. EWWW. We ordered a bucket of gallos (of course!) to share with our new friends. The five of us agreed to dance for as long as it took us to finish our beers and then to dip. We watched as one of the locals danced while covering the top of his beer with his thumb. He motioned to the sweat dripping from the ceiling and then made an X over his beer. Gross. We definitely weren't drunk enough for this party scene. We finished our beers and headed outside to bask in the cool night air (it was still probably 75 degrees). Our friends wished us well and headed on their way. Kristin and I decided to stop by another bar that was open air, much less crowded and had a dance floor. When the bar closed we watched as locals bought beers and brought them into the street to drink near the water. Genius. We followed suit. We ended up sitting along the water with a snobby brit and his Guatemalan body guard. The brit kept trying to blow cigarette smoke in my face so I stole his pack of cigs and ripped off all his filters. Unfortunately this didn't keep him from smoking but it did piss him off enough to stop smoking in my direction. Kristin and I chatted with the 'bodyguard' for quite some time all the while trying to improve our Spanish speaking skills. More people cycled through the water front and we ended up sharing beers and chatting with tourists from France, the US, the UK and El Salvador. Some of the guys jumped in for a swim but the locals told stories of crocodiles near the pier so Kristin and I opted to keep our feet on dry land. After finishing all the beers we had purchased from the bar, and then some, Kristin and I wished our friends well and walked back to our hotel. We were ready for a good night's sleep after our long, but fun, day. 

Ziplining, Spelunking and Tubing OH MY!

 July 7, 2022

Today was the day we were going ziplining and cave tubing. I was up early so I could make it to the market before we were picked up at 830. However, when I got out of the shower Kristin said they had switched our pickup time to 8am. WOOF. I ran to the market (aka the neighbor's yard stand) to get fruit for breakfast but the woman didn't have any change so I ran to the grocery store (aka the man across the street's home), bought some juice, got change and then headed back to the market for fruit. Kristin and I scarfed down our bananas, went to the bathroom and then hopped in the van. I hoped and prayed that my banana, granola bar and juice would be enough to sustain me through the caves (no bathrooms there!) 

A nice man in a van picked us up at our gate and took us into town to a gas station where we transferred into a pickup to meet our guide 'Cisco, and another Canadian couple on their honeymoon, Sean and Michelle. We squished threesies in the back seat and settled in for the hour plus ride to our destination. Upon arrival we got suited up for ziplining. There were 6 lines in total, with the highest being 120 feet off the ground, and the longest being 1200 feet. We climbed to all of them. Each was more brilliant than the next. They took us through the jungle, over the river and out on the other side. The views were magnificent. 

After ziplining we met back up with Cisco and got ready for cave tubing, or spelunking, as I later learned cave exploration is called. We had a 50 minute walk, with our inner tubes, through the jungle to the water. I was initially dreading this, however, we were shaded by palms and other jungle trees so the temperature wasn't bad. Cisco stopped a lot to share jungle survival tips with us, some of which included: if you need protein, crack open a termite nest and eat the termites. If you are trying to keep bugs, birds and other creatures away, find a dormant termite nest and set fire to it. The flames won't catch-it will just smoke. If you have horrible diarrhea you can find this prickly purple nut. Crack it open and suck the juices and you'll be stopped up in 2-5 minutes time for 2-3 days. If you encounter a jaguar (which he has 8 times over the years), make yourself really big and make lots of noise to intimidate it. If you encounter wild boars run like hell up the nearest tree and hang on tight because they will try to bring the tree down. 😳

Once we got to the entrance of the caves Cisco encouraged us to climb the rock face and jump from it into the clear water below. I was the first to scramble up and wow did the water feel great. Cisco shared a lot of Mayan history with us, including stories of how the civilization used to make sacrifices to their gods. The ancient Mayans were experiencing a severe drought so they entered the caves to be closer to the gods in the underworld and made sacrifices. First they started with animals, but it did no good. Then they went deeper into the caves and did human blood- piercing tongues, cutting fingers and nipples to extract the blood to burn as incense to the gods. These acts still did no good. Humans decided they needed to sacrifice themselves to the gods so they were offered in 3 different ways- decapitation, broken neck or ripped out heart. You guessed it. This still did no good. Finally, in their final plea to the gods the Mayans went deeper into the caves and sacrificed their newborn babies. And of course, this did no good. Why weren't the gods helping the Mayans you ask? Because the Mayans were deforesting the jungle and when there are less plants there isn't as much water. They were doing it to themselves. Sounds familiar... doesn't it?

Entering the cave was picturesque. The four of our tubes were tied together while Cisco floated on his back while pulling us along with a rope attached to his foot. We would float for a bit, then stop at a bank, get out of our tubes and explore it. Our first bank had TONS of bats flying overhead. 

 As we continued to float Cisco entertained us with stories of history, culture, and cave exploration. We hopped in and out of our tubes and climbed up the cave walls into nooks and crannies to get better views. We turned off our headlamps and floated in total darkness. We found deep areas where we jumped out and swam far below the surface. We even swam into tiny spaces where our heads barely poked out of the water. We found one of the sacrificing areas and got to look at pottery that was over 2000 years old. WOW. After 50 minutes of walking and 5 hours of floating Kristin and I hopped out of the water and navigated our way back to the entrance because I definitely had to go to the bathroom. Once the rest of our group returned, we shared an amazing lunch of chicken, plantains and rice, cole slaw and even jungle juice. When in Belize, right? Today was  one of the best experiences I've ever had traveling.

We got back to our airbnb, exhausted from the day, and decided to head to Carm's, a local restaurant out of a lady down the street's home. It was absolutely delicious. I'm not sure what I ate, but there's a picture of it below. 

We then stopped by the "beer store" aka a side window of a man's home with two steps leading up to it. We watched anxiously as a man rode up on a moto, walked up the window, yelled something in Spanish and then magically, from the back of the house, a man appeared, opened the window, motioned to the contents of the cooler and gave the man what he requested. We immediately stepped up and got some beers from the cooler and walked back to play games and drink our belikins on the back porch. We also did laundry at the outdoor machines and OH MY GOD we saw the biggest spider of our lives.

Did I mention that at night these are the sounds we hear? Bet you can't guess what's making them.

Mayan Chocolate Might Be My Favorite Chocolate

 July 8, 2022

Kristin and I got up and walked to Carm's (a woman who makes breakfast, lunch and dinner out of her home on the side of the road) where we had DELICIOUS fresh squeezed watermelon juice. We then hopped on the local bus to San Ignacio. And when I say local I mean you can literally stand on the side of the road and flag it down and it'll stop right where you are for you to hop on. We were definitely the only tourists on this thing. Thanks to the man in the grocery store (aka his house) across the street for the tip. 

While in San Ignacio Kristin and I treated ourselves to AMAZING massages. They only had a couples massage available though so umm... sure we could be a couple? It did not disappoint. After our relaxing massage we walked up and down the main drag and decided to sit at an outdoor bar. We ordered cucumber basil mojitos and the sweet Canadian running the place sent one of the bartenders down the road to the market to get fresh basil. MMMM they were delicious and definitely worth the wait. While sipping our bevvys we met some locals who asked to take our pictures-- they were local artists who work out of a shared art space and do media, design and music. They were currently running some ads for the bar we were at but asked if we wanted to head to the space to check out some of their music. While that sounded inviting we had planned to take a chocolate tour further up the road so we wished the artists well and headed on our way. 

The 45 minute chocolate session was all about the history and culture of Mayan chocolate. The Mayans harvest the cacao beans and then turn them into a chocolately drink. We got to try grinding the beans down-- it's hard work-- and then adding the paste to hot water with honey, cinnamon and a little spice before sampling. While the drink was tasty it was HIGHLY caffeinated which I learned the hard way- I was SO revved up for the rest of the night and did not sleep a wink.

We figured why not head back to our tried and true Guava Limb and enjoy another DELICIOUS meal. Again, it did not disappoint. After our day in town we headed back to Cheryl and Jeff's where we did laundry, played some games and took cold showers to try to cool off. (Unfortunately this tactic did not work and it led to me getting up in the middle of the night, hot and sweaty, to take a second shower.)